So my incredibly cool friend (at the time) went away to college. I was saddened without him, cause I'm lame and don't have a life outside of when we hang out. He stuck it out for a year and then came back home. College just wasn't for him. But then he kept trying to tell me about this awesome thing he and his new
bestest best friend did all the time: beating one another with foam boffers.
Maybe a little jealous, I ignored it and we got absorbed in the hookah bar lifestyle. But hookah only served to remind him of the great times he and this guy had smoking hookah and fighting. I finally broke down after seven months, let him take me to Home Depot and Walmart and spent the evening building giant floppy "swords".
Mind you, I had never actually looked at any of the links he sent me, or listened to the principles behind building even while we were building.
I had no idea how they were supposed to turn out, so the square penis-like (cause we covered them in nude colored stockings) boffers still looked like square penis-like boffers to me. I felt ridiculous the first time we fought because:
A: It was February.
B: It was snowing like a bitch drinking out of cups.
C: I was about to beat up the guy I loved with a giant square penis-like boffer. By this time, I had broken him down and made him agree to be my boyfriend.
And it was the most fun I'd ever had. We were outside every night after work, fighting on the street in front of my house (cause I don't have a yard in winter) having a grand ol' time smacking each other in the gut interspersed with new-found "I lurrrrve you!"'s.
A few months later, I was finally aware that other people did this. So he and his reunited friend took me to practice in Schenley Park with the fearsome Spartans and another handful of Rag-tagged veterans from Angaron. I was absolutely scared ****less when Purple-Vest-Guy and Lashik charged me in that first battle.
That was almost a year ago, and I can now discern between fine foamsmithing and duct tape quickies, wear something more appropriate than a nightgown without sleeves, and face down any legion with little more than apprehension.