Topic: Corrupt a Wish (Read 19210 times)

Silth the Starfish · « **Reply #600 on:** November 28, 2011, 08:25:47 pm »

Granted, you stab yourself in the butthole and bleed to death.

I wish the semester was over already and I finished with all A's.

Xanthos Chisantrix · « **Reply #601 on:** November 28, 2011, 09:04:28 pm »

Granted, but you get all F's for the next three.

I wish I could think of a wish so I could post my wish on the thread of corrupted wishes.

Norik · « **Reply #602 on:** November 28, 2011, 10:16:10 pm »

Granted, you think of a wish to post on the thread of corrupted wishes, but on your way to post your wish you are captured by evil space fairing armadillos who carry you around in a tractor beam that is a lovely shade of lavender. As you pass over Ireland, a rouge rainbow piloted by a sober leprechaun who is taller then the average leprechaun and smarter than the average bear, while wearing light up socks, hits the tractor beam and shifts the light and drops you out of the sky. As your falling you are suddenly stuck by inspiration thought of by an artist in distress 500 miles away and you get the sudden urge to draw a picture of a nuke going off in the rain forest in hopes of killing off all of the mosquitoes. You're falling rapidly while drawing it when you hit the ground and your notepad acts as a bouncy cushion, saving you from the fall. As you bounce off the ground, a magic flying fish with plaid wings and an infinite supply of mustard comes flying in and hits you, sending you flying through the air during a solar eclipse on a leap year. You land at your computer, ready to type your wish when you suddenly remember that you forgot your wish that you were about to post, so you decide to go watch a movie and eat M&M's.

I wish my writers block was gone.

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #603 on:** November 29, 2011, 07:57:30 am »

Granted. Here's a chisel, and here's a hammer. Go start chipping it away.

I wish for "Smoke on the Water" to be performed by singing chipmunks.

Serint · « **Reply #604 on:** December 02, 2011, 08:43:38 am »

Granted but their singing is so high pitch that it breaks all the glass for 100 miles and you are sentenced to death for thinking up the idea.

I wish I could think of something to write for this paper.

peanutbutter · « **Reply #605 on:** December 02, 2011, 09:03:08 am »

Granted you write a paper about you thinking about what to write for your paper. Your teacher thoroughly displeased gives you a F.

Wish i could restring my mandolin and ukulele.

Ravus · « **Reply #606 on:** December 02, 2011, 12:26:24 pm »

Granted, but they're all in dropped metal tuning to facilitate the brutalzzzz.

I wish minecraft weren't so goddamn addicting

Tiny Tim · « **Reply #607 on:** December 02, 2011, 02:42:55 pm »

Granted but it would be a ssssssssssshame if ssssssssssomething happened to it...

I wish my new pauldrons would get here quicker!

peanutbutter · « **Reply #608 on:** December 02, 2011, 03:53:40 pm »

Granted they come so quick it goes into the future and so you will never have them.

I wish college was cheaper

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #609 on:** December 03, 2011, 08:02:58 am »

Granted, but gas is more expensive. Not do you maintain your budget, but now everyone you meet wants to beat you with sticks instead of foam... except of course the gas people, who don't really give a s***.

I wish for "Pressure"! (Note the quotes; I mean the song, not the word!)

Kili_Sunhawks · « **Reply #610 on:** December 03, 2011, 08:33:37 pm »

granted, Stick your head in the vise and i'll tighten it for you.

I wish this weekend wasn't so dull....

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #611 on:** December 04, 2011, 07:14:08 am »

Quote from: Kili_Sunhawks on December 03, 2011, 08:33:37 pm

granted, Stick your head in the vise and i'll tighten it for you.

FAIL! I said the song!

Quote from: Kili_Sunhawks on December 03, 2011, 08:33:37 pm

I wish this weekend wasn't so dull....

Granted, it's duller.

I wish for everyone to do the hokey pokey!

Leaf of Redwater · « **Reply #612 on:** December 04, 2011, 07:27:55 am »

Granted, everyone in Nebraska dies from light blunt trauma to the everywhere.

I wish Goats would realize the title of this thread, recognize that it happened, and stop acting the fool.

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #613 on:** December 04, 2011, 07:39:29 am »

Granted, I do stop... momentarily.

I wish for inspiration to use on the big pile of fabric on the table over there...

Silth the Starfish · « **Reply #614 on:** December 04, 2011, 12:47:01 pm »

Granted, you are inspired to eat all of it at once, and you do.

I wish that it would SNOW ALREADY.

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #615 on:** December 05, 2011, 08:53:38 am »

Granted. The snow melts about a foot away from the ground.

I wish to be fuzzier!

Leaf of Redwater · « **Reply #616 on:** December 05, 2011, 09:06:43 am »

Granted, you're now a fake bear that makes terrible jokes.

I wish I did better on my final.

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #617 on:** December 05, 2011, 10:05:21 am »

Granted, but your favorite weapons all fail.

I wish it were Wednesday...

Xanthos Chisantrix · « **Reply #618 on:** December 10, 2011, 07:34:12 pm »

Granted, it's Woden's day all the time!!!

I wish I wish I wish I wish...........

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #619 on:** December 11, 2011, 08:56:35 am »

Granted. Let me grab my meat cleaver and I'll be right over.

I wish for the return of Dralcos.

Silth the Starfish · « **Reply #620 on:** December 12, 2011, 01:53:04 pm »

Granted, they return to their mothers wombs and the mothers all die in a horrible accident.

I wish I had infinite monies.

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #621 on:** December 13, 2011, 08:54:49 am »

FAIL Silly, FAIL! Dralcos is the Swamp King! SINGULAR!

Anyways, wish granted! Your infinite monies make you the target of every robber, thief, banker, and general ne'er-do-well in the world.

I wish for everyone in the Dag world to own at least two, reliably passing daggers, so that I can expect to be stabby-ed at least two or three times at every practice and smaller local event I ever go to.

Silth the Starfish · « **Reply #622 on:** December 13, 2011, 10:51:09 am »

Granted they all have them but they never use them, ever.

I wish I had my **** together.

Leaf of Redwater · « **Reply #623 on:** December 13, 2011, 11:36:58 am »

Granted, every **** you've ever relinquished to the gods de toilette suddenly appears in your backyard, and you realize exactly what kind of **** your parents have had to put up with. You drop to your knees in horror, and have the profoundest epiphany; your parents are the best. You send them everything they ask for, and more.

You still have a giant pile of **** in your backyard, though.

I wish my Christmas shopping was done already.

Zageidh the Decaying · « **Reply #624 on:** December 13, 2011, 09:18:31 pm »

Granted.

I have gone back in time and broken all your joints, and the medical bill was so much you can't afford christmas, even if you could move to go shopping.

Goats Kordatar · « **Reply #625 on:** December 14, 2011, 09:07:57 am »

I wish you had not forgotten to wish for something.

Dralcos Singol, The Swamp King · « **Reply #626 on:** April 16, 2012, 05:10:00 pm »

Quote from: Goats Kordatar on December 11, 2011, 08:56:35 am

Granted. Let me grab my meat cleaver and I'll be right over.

I wish for the return of Dralcos.

I'MMMMM BAAAAAAAAACCCK!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL

Quote from: Goats Kordatar on December 14, 2011, 09:07:57 am

I wish you had not forgotten to wish for something.

GRANTED, instead he wishes that a black hole passess cose enought to our solar system it eats all the planets and the sun, but leaves the earth and moon to freeze into solid balls of ice overnight. thanks a lot . . . a**.

I wish i had my own house that was fully paid off the second i bought it.

Revian Collcalen · « **Reply #627 on:** April 16, 2012, 07:27:09 pm »

Granted it's a piece of plywood mounted on four poles.

I wish that I lived in Alaska, in a house of my own design, and neither house nor the weather kill me in someway.

Dralcos Singol, The Swamp King · « **Reply #628 on:** April 17, 2012, 05:35:42 am »

Granted, so the psycho of an eskimo lady you meet does instead with her spear.

I wish i never got sunburn again.

Garret Ironshield · « **Reply #629 on:** April 17, 2012, 01:34:04 pm »

Granted, you now have no skin to be burned. On the upside, you can fully see your muscle structure now...

I wish I could find and win a full-ride scholarship...

Norik · « **Reply #630 on:** April 17, 2012, 07:11:06 pm »

Granted, but the scholarship is for Clown school (it does exist, trust me). HAve fun at "how to put 30 big, smelly guys in one car 101"

I wish I didn't have to hear people b**** at work all the time.

Thrud · « **Reply #631 on:** April 17, 2012, 07:47:29 pm »

Granted, you don't have to hear people bitch at work all the time, but now you hear people bitch everywhere else.

I wish I had a teleportation device that would teleport me anywhere in an instant so that I could go to any Dag event without having to spend the extra money on gas to get there.

Norik · « **Reply #632 on:** April 17, 2012, 08:45:01 pm »

Granted, but the first time you use it, you hit turbulence on the way there. When you exit the portal, your head is where your foot is and your arm is coming out of your stomach.

I wish my knee was fully healed so I can finally fight.

Garret Ironshield · « **Reply #633 on:** April 17, 2012, 09:07:03 pm »

Granted, but the doctor's must implant a brain-controlling bionic knee-cap in order to do it. Still interested?

I wish, I wish I had a paradise island.

Ingvar the Ruthless · « **Reply #634 on:** April 17, 2012, 11:01:17 pm »

Granted, but the rest of the world is infested by zombies, and if you ever leave your island paradise, they will get you.

I wish that I could stop and start time at will.

Dralcos Singol, The Swamp King · « **Reply #635 on:** April 18, 2012, 09:40:15 pm »

Granted, but it only works once then short circuits and destroys half the from a space/time field collapse.

I wish ticks went extinct. forever.

Cancer · « **Reply #636 on:** April 19, 2012, 01:40:12 pm »

Granted. Their evolutionary niche is now filled by land leeches.

I wish I didn't have to pay for alcohol.

faron · « **Reply #637 on:** April 19, 2012, 06:02:48 pm »

Yes, but then you get so drunk that you lose your job, your family, and die in an auto accident.
I wish that everything that I said which is the truth would be believed by everyone who hears it.
I just don't drink and never have.

Dralcos Singol, The Swamp King · « **Reply #638 on:** April 19, 2012, 11:25:58 pm »

(i can only assume you've lost someone to a drunk driver faron but the grant and wish you make, should make people smile and have fun. *makes joker face* Why So Serious? )

peanutbutter · « **Reply #639 on:** April 21, 2012, 10:15:27 pm »

Granted now everyone believes everything you say and so can no longer be sarcastic or threaten people.
I wish for an incorruptible wish.

Ingvar the Ruthless · « **Reply #640 on:** April 22, 2012, 01:02:58 am »

Granted, you are now an indestructible fish [the genie is hard of hearing].

I wish I could wrestle a giant and win.

faron · « **Reply #641 on:** April 22, 2012, 02:34:39 pm »

Yes, you win, but now everyone wants to fight you.
I wish I had more hours in the day.

Kotaro · « **Reply #642 on:** April 22, 2012, 10:27:10 pm »

Wish granted, but as a result of the longer day, i.e. slower rotation of the planet, the climate is forever altered, killing off much of the more delicate plants and animals.

I wish for control over lightning.

Norik · « **Reply #643 on:** April 22, 2012, 10:34:40 pm »

Granted but now you are captured and made to produce electricity for a large power grid powering New York City. It is a very painful process that you will be a part of for the rest of your life but at least you can control lightning.

I wish the world was more interesting.

Cancer · « **Reply #644 on:** April 23, 2012, 11:12:14 am »

Granted.

I wish I could break the habit of telling stories everyone's already heard and no one wanted to hear in the first place.

Kotaro · « **Reply #645 on:** April 23, 2012, 03:32:14 pm »

Granted, now you no longer have the ability to speak at all.

I wish I could communicate with animals as I do humans.

Daz · « **Reply #646 on:** April 23, 2012, 04:49:55 pm »

Granted, you are driven insane by the incessant communication of all the insects nearby. also, they argue every rule in dag.

I wish I had discretionary telescopic vision

Kotaro · « **Reply #647 on:** April 24, 2012, 04:01:53 pm »

Granted, but the strain on your eyeballs renders you blind for several hours after each use.

I wish I had the ability to look at a problem and instantly know the solution.

faron · « **Reply #648 on:** April 24, 2012, 06:08:53 pm »

Yes, you will know the solution, but no one listens to you and when they find out that you were right all along, they get mad at you.
I wish gasoline was $2 a gallon.

Ingvar the Ruthless · « **Reply #649 on:** April 24, 2012, 10:31:45 pm »

Granted, gas is now $2 a gallon. You also make $200 a week less. since all the oil companies bought the government and decided to take your money right out of your check

I wish I could get this spray foam off of my hands.

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Author Topic: Corrupt a Wish (Read 19210 times)